video chat apps aren't just for weirdos anymore. plenty of normal people use them to talk to folks from around the world. i've actually made some real friends this way. people i still talk to years later.
here's how to do it without coming across as desperate or creepy.
why this actually works
global reach
you can talk to someone in brazil one minute and japan the next. where else can you do that? you'll learn about places and cultures you'd never experience otherwise.
no social barriers
online, nobody knows who you are. you're not limited by your job, your neighborhood, or who your existing friends are. everyone starts equal.
low stakes practice
if you're shy or awkward in person, video chat is a good way to practice talking to people. it's low pressure. worst case you hit skip and move on.
random is the point
some of the best conversations happen with people you'd never choose to meet. that's the whole appeal. you don't know who you'll get next.
picking an app that doesn't suck
this matters more than you'd think. some apps are basically unusable because the moderation is terrible and you'll see stuff you don't want to see every other match.
what to look for
- real moderation. ideally ai that catches stuff in real-time, not just user reports that get reviewed days later
- decent user base. enough people that you're not matching with the same 20 people all day
- simple interface. you want to chat, not navigate a million features
- not pay-to-play. premium features are fine but the free version should actually work
tjub hits all these points which is why we built it. but whatever you use, check reviews first and don't just download the first app you find.
staying safe
this is non-negotiable. be smart about it.
guard your identity
don't share your full name, phone number, address, workplace, or social media until you actually trust someone.
watch your background
no mail, diplomas, work badges, or anything else that could identify you visible on camera.
trust your gut
if something feels off, skip. you don't owe anyone anything. the button is there for a reason.
never click links
links from strangers can be malware or phishing. no legitimate new friend needs you to click stuff.
for more safety stuff check out our full safety guide.
actually making friends
most chats won't turn into friendships. that's normal. you're looking for the ones that click.
be genuinely curious
ask questions about their life, where they're from, what they do for fun. people like talking about themselves. actually listen to the answers instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.
share stuff too
don't just interview them. tell them about yourself when it's relevant. the best conversations are two-way.
find common ground
when you discover you both like something, go deeper. "we both like music" is fine. "we both think radiohead's kid a changed rock music" is a real conversation.
don't force it
if the conversation isn't flowing after a genuine effort, that's fine. move on. the good ones feel natural.
stay in touch carefully
if you actually connect with someone and want to keep talking, don't immediately give out your main contact info. make a separate email or use something that doesn't reveal your phone number. build trust first.
managing expectations
- most chats will be short. that's normal. not every conversation needs to be deep.
- you will get skipped. everyone does. don't take it personally.
- quality over quantity. one good conversation is worth more than twenty forgettable ones.
- different times, different vibes. user demographics change based on time of day and day of week.
- your energy matters. if you're tired or in a bad mood, your conversations will reflect that.
beyond the screen
online friends are real friends. but the connections can also lead to other stuff:
- language practice. way better than apps for actually learning to speak a language
- travel connections. met someone from a city you're visiting? free local guide
- different perspectives. talking to people from other countries is eye-opening
- just entertainment. sometimes you just want an interesting conversation
just try it
the barrier to meeting new people online has never been lower. you can start a conversation with someone on the other side of the world in seconds.
what you'll find is that people everywhere are more similar than different. everyone wants connection and the occasional good conversation. random video chat strips away all the usual barriers.
download something decent, be smart about safety, be a normal human being, and see what happens. your next interesting conversation is just a few skips away.