i remember my first time trying one of these apps. had no idea what to say, kept getting skipped, didn't know the unwritten rules. took me a while to get comfortable with it.
now i use these apps all the time and have had some genuinely interesting conversations with people from all over. here's how to get started without the awkward learning curve i went through.
what even is this
random video chat is exactly what it sounds like. you open an app, hit start, and get connected with some random person somewhere in the world via video. you talk for a bit, and when one of you is done, you skip to the next person.
it started with chatroulette back in like 2009 and then omegle got huge. now there are a bunch of apps doing it. some are sketchy, some are decent. the good ones have moderation so you're not just seeing inappropriate stuff constantly.
why people actually use this
- boredom. sometimes you just want to talk to someone and your friends aren't available
- curiosity. what's life like in brazil? or japan? you can just ask someone
- language practice. way better than duolingo for actually learning to speak
- social anxiety practice. low stakes way to get better at talking to people
- making friends. some people actually make real friends this way
before your first chat
pick a decent app
not all apps are the same. some have zero moderation and you'll see stuff you didn't want to see. look for apps with ai moderation that catches inappropriate content in real-time. check reviews before downloading. tjub and a few others actually put effort into this.
set up your space
find somewhere with decent lighting. natural light from a window is best, or a lamp in front of you (not behind). make sure your background is clean and doesn't have personal stuff visible like mail, work badges, or photos with names.
test your stuff
make sure your camera and mic work. use headphones if other people are around. position your phone or laptop at eye level so you're not looking down at it.
just start
hit the start button and you'll match with someone. if it's awkward or you're not vibing, just hit skip. there's no obligation to keep talking to anyone. the skip button is your friend.
it's gonna be awkward at first
your first few chats will probably be weird. that's normal. most people skip through several matches before finding someone good to talk to. don't take it personally if you get skipped a lot at first.
how to actually talk to people
forget complicated openers. simple and genuine works best.
openers that work
keeping it going
- ask actual questions. "what kind of music are you into?" is better than "do you like music?"
- share stuff too. don't just interview them. tell them about yourself when relevant.
- find common ground. when you discover you both like something, go deeper on that topic
- be curious. if they mention something you don't know about, ask
- use humor. keep it light when you can
good topics
- travel, places you've been or want to go
- music, movies, shows, games
- food, especially local stuff from their country
- hobbies and interests
- what they do on weekends
- languages they speak
- cultural differences (people love explaining their culture)
basic etiquette
do:
- say hi when you connect
- look at your camera, not the screen (makes eye contact)
- be patient with language barriers
- give people a few seconds before skipping
- say bye if you had a real conversation before leaving
- report actually bad behavior
don't:
- skip people instantly based on how they look
- ask invasive personal questions
- be on your phone during the chat
- have loud background noise
- pressure anyone for their contact info
- record without asking (it's often illegal)
common problems
"i keep getting skipped"
everyone gets skipped. it's not personal. check your lighting, maybe try smiling when you connect. keep at it.
"i don't know what to say"
start with where they're from or what time it is there. have a few go-to topics ready. the more you chat, the easier it gets.
"i keep seeing inappropriate stuff"
you're probably on a bad app. switch to one with actual moderation. apps with ai moderation catch this stuff automatically.
"i'm too nervous"
totally normal. remember the other person is probably a little nervous too. start with short sessions. it gets easier with practice.
that's basically it
random video chat is genuinely a cool way to meet people you'd never encounter otherwise. you'll have awkward moments, you'll get skipped, you'll skip others. that's all normal.
the key is finding a decent app with real moderation, being smart about your privacy, and just being a normal human being to the people you match with.
give it a shot. worst case you have some weird conversations. best case you meet some interesting people from around the world.